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JOKEBOOK 1997 Part I
Santa singh asked Banta singh, who was looking very sad,why he was so.Banta replied that he lost Rs1000 after betting Rs500 on the result of a particular cricket match Then,Santa asked banta how he lost Rs1000 when his stake was for only Rs500.Banta replied that he had placed Rs500 during the live match & Rs500 on the highlights!!!
karthik rajan
madras, tamilnadu INDIA - Friday, December 26, 1997 at 12:11:52 (EST)
Gandhiji yean kovilukku thulli thulli pohirar?
Yean endral avar oru Bhakti"maan"
Karthik rajan
madras, tamilnadu India - Friday, December 26, 1997 at 11:49:20 (EST)
From Thathu Pillai.. dialogue is between arivudainambi(arasiyalvathi) and saamiyar
sami : arivu toyota vil vadhiya pa
arivu : aamam sami.. epdi kandupidicheenga..
sami : Netrikkannal parthen..
arivu : Nan innum Netrikkan pakkaliye saami
sami : Nalla padam... adhil lakshmi yin nadippu.. adadaedada..
"Sarvartha sarva cinema naam loga lakshmi ya kichadi"
Rajagopal
Singapore - Friday, December 26, 1997 at 00:26:30 (EST)
Excerpts from (Aayiram udha vangiya aboorava sigamani) S Ve Shekar is calling to his wouldbe 's mom..
SVS : Hello
Mom : Hello engendu pesareenga.
SVS : Phone lendhu dhan.. Ayya irukkangala..
Mom : Maela Paduthirukkanga..
SVS : Apparam phone panraen..
Rajagopal
Singapore - Friday, December 26, 1997 at 00:23:36 (EST)
Amma (to appa): enga, namma paiyyan mooku podi podaranga, avana konjam kezhunga.
appa: Che che, enakku mooku podi venumna, nane vangippen, avana ketke matten
Karthikeyan Kumaraguru
cincinnati, Ohio USA - Sunday, December 14, 1997 at 14:14:07 (EST)
Tharagar: Payyan vela seiyara edathile, avan keezha 200 per irukanga.
pennin appa: Appadiya! avar enne panrar?
Tharagar: Vettiyana irukkar
Karthikeyan Kumaraguru
Cincinnati, Ohio USA - Sunday, December 14, 1997 at 14:09:32 (EST)
A man knocks the door and shouts,"Amma! Ayya irukara?"
The woman shouts back,"Aiyya mela padhuthutirukirar! Appuram va!"
Karthikeyan kumaraguru
cincinnati, ohio usa - Sunday, December 14, 1997 at 14:04:20 (EST)
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday the
Catholics go crazy because, while they're morosely eating fish,
the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the
Jew to convert him.
Finally, by threats and pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take
the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and intones:
...."Born a Jew
.....Raised a Jew
.....Now a Catholic."
The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells
every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the scent of
barbecue
wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's
house
to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking
steak.
He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying:
...."Born a cow
.....Raised a cow
.... Now a fish."
N.Senthilnathan
aberdeen, scotland - Friday, December 12, 1997 at 12:28:55 (EST)
Two Sardarjis are in a railway station.
"Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" asks the first.
"No," answers the Railroad man.
"Can I?" asks the second Sardarji.
sundar
srirangam, TN INDIA - Tuesday, December 09, 1997 at 13:52:14 (EST)
during a test......
Master:what r u doing
Student:i m seeing his paper
Master:oh!i thought u r copying!
rajamanoj
cikarang, jakarta indonesia - Friday, December 05, 1997 at 01:27:38 (EST)
Square is intelligent than circl, how
b,cos it has Nall-edge
-------
Gokulashtami and communism have something in common what is it
Ka(r)l marx
Ramesh Venkataraman
Randolph, NJ USA - Thursday, December 04, 1997 at 16:15:45 (EST)
A MAN from the census bureau was doing a door-to-door survey. He
knocked on the door of one house and was greeted by a young boy.
The man asked the child if anybody else was home and when the boy
shook his head, he decided nevertheless to try to get the information
he needed. "May I please know your father's first name?" The boy
answered, "My father's name is Laughing." Although the name surprised
the census man, he pressed on. "And your mother's name?" the boy
replied, "Her name is Smiling," the boy replied. The man quipped,
"Wait a minute, little boy! Are you kidding?" "No, that's my sister,"
the boy answered. "I'm Joking!"
N.Senthilnathan
scotland, scotland - Thursday, December 04, 1997 at 11:33:00 (EST)
WHICH IS THE THAT NO ONE CAN ENTER?
ELECTRICITY!
LIMAL RAJA
CIKARANG,, BEKASI, INDONESIA - Thursday, December 04, 1997 at 02:08:58 (EST)
Saadharana manushanukkum 'Superman'-ukkum yenna viddhiyasam?
Saadharana manushan 'underwear' pottukittu 'pant' poduvan. Superman-o 'pant'pottukittu 'underwear' pottukkuvan.
Sudhakar K.
Baku, Azerbaijan - Wednesday, December 03, 1997 at 12:51:24 (EST)
One Sardarji was travelling in a taxi. The taxi driver had a problem with the indicator and wanted to check it. So he asked the Sardarji, "Bai Saheb! Can you please go and stand in front of the car and check if the indicator is working or not?" The Sardarji said, "Indicator? What is that?" The taxi driver said, "You will see a small orange light in the front. Just tell if it is working or not. The Sardarji got down and stood in front of the car. The taxi driver asked, "What? Is it working?" To which the Sardarji replied as follows. "Yes, it's working. No, not working. Yes, it's working. No not working. Yes, it's working. No not working. Yes, it's . . . "
Sudhakar K.
- Monday, December 01, 1997 at 12:38:38 (EST)
Question: How can you drop a Glass but do not spill any water ?
Answer: If you drop a Glass of Milk ....
Aravind Sekar (2nd grade)
- Sunday, November 30, 1997 at 12:28:41 (EST)
Vekatha viyila nenukituruntha Traffic Police karar kitta oruthat
vanthar."Sir,antha road lae nan pokalama?"
"Eenya,nee porathu enna,pokallamae"-traffic mama.
"Ella sir,anga "Vaganamellum inku poka kutathu"apitenu potiruku"
"Athanala ennaya"
"Ella sir .En peeru Mayil VAGANAM .Athan pokalama kotathunau...."
- How is it? Aayo!Serupu!Bye.
Vanjeeswaran
BITS Pilani, Rajasthan India - Saturday, November 29, 1997 at 07:47:06 (EST)
1)Indiavil "Indru Poai Nallai Va " endru sollum state ethu?
GOA.
2)Setti Ellam aen patchiya erukuthu?
Nama patcha thanni othuramla athanalathan.
3) Road naduvulae Vazha Maram Natttu vechirukungalae- Ethukku?
Vazhai 'thar' podumae athukakathan.
4) Which is bigger than biggest & smaller than smallest but at the
same time if you eat it you will die?
Ans: NOTHING.Nothing can be bigger than biggest as biggest is
superlative & if you eat nothing you will die.Funda!
Vanjeeswaran
Pilani, Rajasthan India - Saturday, November 29, 1997 at 07:39:20 (EST)
Question : Why did the cow go F..F..F..?
Answer : F=ma (Newtons 2ndlaw of motion)
k.vijaygopal
Madras, Tamil Nadu India - Wednesday, November 26, 1997 at 22:46:02 (EST)
person1: 5 years munnadi en appa enga veetu velakaari'oda odi poittar
Person2: ayyayyo, apparam enna paneenga,
Person1: vera velakkariya appoint pannittom
Ha ha ha
Ganesh
hyderabad, AP India - Wednesday, November 26, 1997 at 11:34:55 (EST)
Hubby : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how insurmountable, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you.
Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one ?'
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:59:26 (EST)
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem ?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful ? My wife doesn't know about it yet."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:58:28 (EST)
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed, I called out :
'Is that you, Jim ?' And that cured him."
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how ?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:57:22 (EST)
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares to answer her." One of his friends asked, "And when you are angry, what do you do ?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:55:21 (EST)
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple ? How devoted they are ? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that ? "I would love to." replied the husband, "but I don't know her well enough."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:54:07 (EST)
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband. But look at me. My husband is Foolish, Lazy and a Coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him ?"
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:52:38 (EST)
A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain ?" said the counsellor, "You're still getting the same service !"
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
- Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:51:20 (EST)
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Mr Drone."
"Drone ! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let himsuffer now."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
Atlanta, GA USA - Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 09:49:06 (EST)
Desi checklist : We de people !!
This note is dedicated to all those desis who have done India proud!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some points of identifications of a desi !
You are a desi if.....
1) You can pack your stuff to fly to any corner of the world within
minutes !
2) You can survive under drastic conditions by eating vegetarian food !
3) You can change your english accent to suit any other accent !
4) Your telephone bill does not go below $200 !
5) You do not fix up an appointment to meet a friend or a girl friend !
6) You can drive on the left side or right side of the road with equal
ease !
7) You do not give any thought spending $19,000 for buying a brand new
Honda Accord !
8) You know at least 3 languages !
9) You are obsessed with your work rather than your body !
10) You do not mind spending 2000$ a year for going to india or getting
your parents here !
11) You find it no big deal buying your friend a cup of coffee !
12) You enjoy coming on the weekends to work !
13) You know ORACLE and your parents and wife are familiar with the
words "DEVELOPER 2000 FORMS 4.5' !
14) You are shocked with disbelief when someone talks about divorce !
15) Your pay check has a figure which is much higher than an average
american's pay check !
16) You are a graduate !
17) You can pick up any software in a day and claim an experience of a
couple of years on it !
18) You never speak English except when talking to an American or a
Tamilian !
19) You are standing at one corner of a discotheque waiting for some
girl to come and ask u for a dance !
20) You keep staring at another desi whom you don't know !
21) You have your lunch box packed in a plastic cover !
22) You are never spotted with a female except for your wife or
colleague in the office !
....... and last but not the least,
YOU ARE A DESI IF YOU DISAPPEAR ONE FINE DAY DITCHING YOUR EMPLOYER AND CLIENT CASUALLY !
HATS OFF TO DESIS FOR THEIR UNIQUE ABILITIES!
A proud "DESI"
DESI......
- Monday, November 24, 1997 at 15:43:43 (EST)
A wee bit politically incorrect but amusing! ... but then a little
warped myself !!
An Irishman had been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally
said that the bar was closed. So he stood up to leave and fell flat on
his face. He figured he'd crawl outside and get some fresh air, and
maybe that would sober him up.
Once outside he stood up, and fell flat on his face. So he crawled home,
and at the door stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through
the door and up the stairs. When he reached his bed he tried one more
time to stand up. This time he fell right into bed and went sound
asleep.
He awoke the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.
"So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"How did you know?" he asked.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
Atlanta, GA USA - Monday, November 24, 1997 at 15:41:06 (EST)
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived to USA by boat and one says to the
other, I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might
as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother
superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards it. "Two
dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he
wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and
begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers,
then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and
whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
Atlanta, GA USA - Monday, November 24, 1997 at 15:37:55 (EST)
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for
bakedbeans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and
somewhat lively effect on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
"She'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like
this," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly
thereafter, they were married. A few months later, on the way home from
work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called
his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On
his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked
beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he
figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went
in and ordered and before leaving, he had 3 extra large helpings of
baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived
home, he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed,
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner
tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the
head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point, he
was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about
to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise
not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to
one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He
had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air
about him. He had just started feeling better when another urge came on.
He raised his leg and RRRRRIIIIPPPPP!!! It sounded like a diesel engine
revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his
arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge.
This was a real blue ribbon winner -- the windows shook, the dishes on
the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.
While keeping an ear tuned to the conversation in the hallway, and
keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for
the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin.
When he heard the phone farewells, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap
and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the
picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so
long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her
he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled "SURPRISE!!!" To
his shock and horror, seated around the table were the twelve dinner
guests his wife had invited for his surprise birthday party.
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
Atlanta, GA USA - Monday, November 24, 1997 at 15:36:36 (EST)
A drunk Sardarji phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even
the accelerator," he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a
second time and the Sardarji came over the line.
"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by
mistake."
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
Atlanta, GA USA - Monday, November 24, 1997 at 15:34:48 (EST)
========= PUNJAB ENGINEERING & MEDICAL ENTRANCE EXAM QUESTION PAPER =========
PUNJAB ENGINEERING AND MEDICAL ENTRACE EXAM -
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
particular reference to architecture, literature, law and
social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one being Akbar, the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting
*You must answer at least three questions correctly to qualify*
Vijayalakshmi Y Velu
Atlanta, GA USA - Monday, November 24, 1997 at 15:22:51 (EST)
WHAT IS THE SINGLE ENGLISH WORD WHICH MEANS..... ORU RISHI MELLAH SAPPHITARR APPRICIATE
DR.R.KRISHNAMURTHY
KENINGAU, SABAH MALAYSIA - Monday, November 24, 1997 at 04:23:41 (EST)
ONE GIRL SELECTED A MAID ABOUT 5 YEARS OLDER THAN HER HUSBAND. [SO HER HUSBAND
WILL NOT HAVE ANY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE MAID] ONEDAY SHE FOUND SOMETHING FISHY!
GUESS WHAT!
HER FATHER-IN-LAW MARRIED THIS MAID!
l.r.narayanan
MADRAS, MADRAS INDIA - Sunday, November 23, 1997 at 13:10:12 (EST)
YOUR HOUSE IS SO NASTY THAT I TRIPED OVER A RAT AND A COCKROACH STOLE MY WALLET
ROBERT ZIMMER
BAYONNE, NEW JERSEY UNITED STATES - Thursday, November 20, 1997 at 14:20:20 (EST)
What can keep a Surd busy for hours or even days?
Answer: Words "Please turn over " written on both sides of a paper.
Uma
Falls Chruch, VA US - Thursday, November 20, 1997 at 13:11:27 (EST)
A Doctor married a nurse. One year later gave birth to a son.THE doctor now telling that i am not the father of the child. The nurse telling that i am not the mother of the child. HOW ?
Answer: FEMALE DOCTOR HARRIED A MALE NURSE
dr.krishnamurthy
keningau, sabah malaysia - Thursday, November 20, 1997 at 07:09:07 (EST)
S.Ve.'s Friend: Dai nee kanakkula romba weak-da.
S.Ve.: Yaara-p-paaththu kanakkula weak-nu solray. S.S.LC.-yila Kanakku subject thavira yella subjectuleyum fail aanavan.
S.Ve.'s friend: Appo kanakkula yevvalavu vanginay?
S.Ve.: Hee...Hee... Andha paritchaikkuthan naan pogavey illiye!
Sudhakar
Baku, Azerbaijan - Friday, November 14, 1997 at 10:26:43 (EST)
What is the chemical hidden in these letters, HIJKLMNO
Answer: Water (H to O)
jai
singapore, singapore singapore - Friday, November 14, 1997 at 05:32:10 (EST)
Q: What's the opposite of 'Aeroplane' ?
A: 'Erangoplane'
Mahesh Bhanumurthy
Fresno, CA USA - Tuesday, November 11, 1997 at 19:29:58 (EST)
Overheard in a street in Kerala.
Tamilian: Sir, PostOffice-ku eppadi ponum?
Keralite: Ee road poi, thiruchi poyoo.
Tamilian: Sir, ennaku Erode Trichy poha vendaam, PostOffice-ku pohanum!!!
Mahesh Bhanumurthy
Fresno, CA USA - Tuesday, November 11, 1997 at 19:22:42 (EST)
A lady in Madras is standing in the balcony of her first floor house waiting for a vegetable vendor to pass buy, so that she can purchase some vegetables. As soon as she spots one, she yells " O kai-kaarane, konjam mela yerittu po !"
Mahesh Bhanumurthy
Fresno, CA USA - Tuesday, November 11, 1997 at 19:05:28 (EST)
A s/w guy`s song in US:(By rajinikanth`s **Naan auto kaaren__auto kaaren***melody)
Naan JAVA kaaren___JAVA kaaren.....Mainframe-le COBOL kaaren......CUT and PASTE ulla kaaren daa.........Naan eppavumae body shopping list kaaren daaa............Aaaahn:..Y2K--na ammukuthaan...Y2K-na gummukuthaan...
Kishore S.K
Stockholm, SWEDEN - Saturday, November 01, 1997 at 18:53:46 (EST)
Microsoft then looked for a proper translator for its Jannal Thonnutri Ainthu.
This time they hired a proper Madrasi to do the job. They called this
"Jannal Thonnutri Ainthu, onru pulli onru onru"
Here is what it looked like
| File | : | pilu |
| Open | : | Thora Ninaa |
| Close | : | Moodiko |
| Cut | : | Vettu (kuthu??) |
| Paste | : | Echathothu ottu |
| Paste special | : | Nalla Echathotu ottu |
| Copy | : | E adichan kapi |
| View | : | Kaatu |
| Payperview | : | Thudduku Biascope |
| Run | : | Odu ninaa |
| Move | : | Jaga Vainko |
| Tools | : | Spanneru |
| Database | : | Figaruthaangi (PTC??) |
| Mouse | : | Mousu |
| Click | : | Photosatham |
Needless to say this was a major hit!!!!!
Dharmarajan S.
Ames, Iowa USA - Saturday, October 25, 1997 at 20:28:35 (EST)
Here is the latest work of Microsoft:
Jannal Thonnotri Ainthu...
MS decided to bring out its WINDOWS95 in Tamil. So they consulted TamizhKudimagabn.Together they developed the translated version of WINDOWS 95.
They named it
"Jannal Thonnotri Ainthu, Onru pulli pujyam pujyam"
Here's what it looked like
| File | : | Koppu |
| Open | : | Thurandhiduga |
| Close | : | Mooduga |
| Cut | : | Vettuga |
| Paste | : | Ottuga |
| Run | : | Oduga |
| Toolsbar | : | Ayudham Thangi |
| Paste Special | : | Sirappaga Ottuga |
| View | : | Paar |
| Help | : | Udhavi |
| Database | : | Vivaram Thangi |
| Payperview | : | Panam KOduthu Par |
| Click | : | Tamizhkudimagan is still working on this |
| Mouse | : | Eli |
As it turned out this product of Microsoft was a FLOP !!!!
Dharmarajan S.
Ames, Iowa USA - Saturday, October 25, 1997 at 20:19:42 (EST)
Here is a short course in Chinese:
| Wa shin Ka | : | Cleaning an automoblie |
| Hai Din Gai | : | We believe you are secretly supporting a fugitive |
| Shai Gai | : | A bashful person |
| Lao Si Sho | : | Vayalum Vazhvum |
| Ten Din Ba | : | Serving drinks in a bar |
| Bang Ma Nee | : | My knee hurts |
| Lao Si Gai | : | Not so interesting person |
Dharmarajan S.
AMES, IOWA USA - Saturday, October 25, 1997 at 20:06:11 (EST)
What will a hen say if it were to lay a square egg?
Answer : OUCH!!
Girish Vasu
Houston, Tx USA - Friday, October 24, 1997 at 01:21:34 (EST)
Hospital Visitor: Hallo! Male medical ward engae irukku?
Worker (Nows only Tamil) : Ayyae! Ingae male ( first floor) medical ward illai saar, keezh (downstairs) medical ward thaan irukku.
Girish Vasu
Houston, Tx USA - Friday, October 24, 1997 at 01:18:16 (EST)
Prison Life vs Full-Time Job
| 1. | In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. |
| 2. | In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one. |
| 3. | In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. |
| 4. | At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. |
| 5. | In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games. |
| 6. | In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained. |
| 7. | In prison you get your own toilet.
At work you have to share. |
| 8. | In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends. |
| 9. | In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners. |
| 10 | . In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars. |
| 11 | . In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at anytime.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of. |
| 12 | . In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work we have managers. |
Arivazhagan M, Singapore, - Wednesday, October 22, 1997 at 09:11:38 (EST)
There was a university professor who gave notoriously boring lectures,
so his students, in an attempt to get out of class early, amused
themselves by throwing their erasers at the classroom clock. Every
successful hit moved the clock forward by 1 minute. In this way, the
undergraduates managed to leave early every time.
The professor appeared unaffected by this, and left his students alone
for the rest of the term. At the end of the semester, he marched in
with the examination papers and handed them out. And as the students
struggled to complete them in the allotted time, the professor amused
himself by throwing erasers at the classroom clock.
N.Senthilnathan
aberdeen, scotland - Wednesday, October 15, 1997 at 15:19:31 (EST)
Judge : So, you admit breaking into the clothes store 4 times.
Defendant : Yes, your Honour.
Judge : And what did you steal ?
Defendant : A dress.
Judge : What ! A dress only. But you broke in 4 times.
Defendant : Yes, it's true, Your Honour, but the first 3 times my wife didn't like the colour.
senthilnathan
ABERDEEN,, SCOTLAND - Wednesday, October 15, 1997 at 15:13:53 (EST)
wonder why Bill Gates calls all his products with femenine names..
Ms Windows, Ms Word, Ms Access, Ms Excel, ...
Elangovan Kuppannan
Sheffield, UK - Wednesday, October 08, 1997 at 09:10:53 (EST)
A Teacher in Kinder Garden asks all the children in the class 2 say the following words -
"Fan, Table, Tree, Glass, Wood, Rat, Sweet, Electricity, Paper, ..etc ".
All of them except "Pakri" pronounced those words properly. Then teacher tried her best by helping PAKRI to pronounce the word ELECTRICTY properly. But he was pronouncing
it as "Electrikutty" (kutty in Tamil means SMALL).
Then said the:
Teacher : Pakri says Electicity as ElectriKutty , Why ??
Pakri's Father: " That is his capaKutty"
Teacher : ??!!!!!
Rajasekar K
QUINCY, MASSACHUSSETES USA - Friday, October 03, 1997 at 14:50:19 (EST)
Two persons sitting in a hotel cover their faces after seeing two females
comming inside. After the females are left, the first person will ask the
second person why did he cover his face. Then the second person replies that
one female is his wife and the another female is his lover. The second person
asks the same question to first person and gets the same answer from him.
Uday Dhanikonda
- Thursday, October 02, 1997 at 15:40:58 (EST)
ANATOMY PROF - (Showing a Specimen of Brain ) What is this ?
STUDENT: The ONE which you & I don't have !!!
sabari
coldwater, Michigan USA - Wednesday, October 01, 1997 at 02:00:22 (EST)
One sardar got very wild on learning that his kid is brilliant. He went to a doc to remove half of the kids brain. The doc fixed up the operation next day morning but could not able to reach the hospital on time. Other docs there did the operation. On reaching late this doc thought that the operation was not over removed the other half of the brain. After the operation the kid woke up and said "Sowkiyama"
Natraj
- Tuesday, September 30, 1997 at 12:48:43 (EST)
Person 1 : Neenga ar'udaya FAN?
Person 2 : adellam old fashion ; arudiya AC innu kkelunga sir padhil solluren.
Suresh Rajappa
Crystal, MN USA - Friday, September 26, 1997 at 23:38:50 (EST)
Kumar(Approaching an arrogant typist in office): Madam, ungalukku typewriting
theriyuma?
Typist(with angry): Typewriting theriyamala naan inge typist-a irukken. Athu
enakku thalaikeezha(reverse) theriyum.
Kumar : Appadiya. Muthalle oru kan(eye) doctor-i paarunga.
Palaniswamy Karunakaran
Walnut Creek, CA USA - Friday, September 26, 1997 at 19:34:09 (EST)
One person when for a Tamil wedding. Ponn oda appa romba terunjavar. Romba upacharam panni, irundu sapadungo, irundu sapadungonnu sonnar.
Paavam, kadasilai, irundada than sapitttar !!
Dilip Ratnam
Santa Clara, CA USA - Wednesday, September 24, 1997 at 20:01:25 (EST)
Friend-Vunga Payyanukku Yen Adikkadi *VIKKAL* varadu?
Payyan*sFather-Oh;adhuvaa;avanthan periya *SALESMAN* aache?Adhan!
Subramanian Mahadevan.
Durham, NC USA - Thursday, September 18, 1997 at 22:28:39 (EST)
Person 1: neenga kanakula romba weaka ?
Person 2: ella sir nan kanakkula month aiten.....
Anand Shankaranarayanan(ANDU)
MINNEAPOLIS, MN USA - Tuesday, September 16, 1997 at 12:14:01 (EST)
Person1: Neenga nalaiku free 'a erupingala ?
Person 2 : ella sir nan eppavum dress potukitu than erupen.
Suresh Rajappa
Crystal , MN USA - Tuesday, September 16, 1997 at 01:24:18 (EST)
Person 1 : Andha al enn sir eppa parthalum he he he endru sirikirar ?
Person 2 : Avr ambalai(male) adhanal rthan HE HE endru sirikirar. aduve pombalaiyaerundha SHE SHE endru siripar..
(nara nara nara)
Suresh Rajappa
Crystal, MN USA - Tuesday, September 16, 1997 at 01:20:05 (EST)
Once Rajiv Gandhi said to Zail Singh to at least do his graduation.So Z.singh goes determined and appears for B.A. exam.
After the question papers and answers papers are distributed, everyone is busy writing , but Zail Singh gets up and
starts removing his shirt, trousers. Annoyed the examiner yells at him, and asks as to what is he up to? Zail Singh points
out to the question paper where it was written "WRITE IN BRIEF" and so he was just doing the needful.
Lakshmi Suresh
Glenshaw, Pennslyvania U.S.A. - Monday, September 15, 1997 at 14:01:17 (EST)
Teacher : Paambu yean nelinju nelinju poaguthu ?
Student : Athoda boyfriend parkarathunalae appadi neliyuthu.
Teacher : Appa paravai ean parakkuthu ?
Student : Naan Kal erinjean. Athaan.. Hi ! Hi !!
Ramakrishnan,S.
Lafayette, Louisiana U.S.A. - Saturday, September 13, 1997 at 11:32:56 (EST)
Hi,
One English,One American and One Indian Sardharji were chatting about their
Country's achievements.
American said : We have launched our Space Crafts to Mars and he was proud of it.
English Guy Said : We are sending lot of Space orbiters and he too was proud.
Indian Sardharji: Thought for a while and Said we sent our Space Craft to Sun.
Others are stunned and laughed at him and said Space craft will be burnt in the sun.
Sardharji Coolly replied.You Know what? We have sent our space craft only in
the night.There we are.
(Super Kadi joke from UMA)
Uma Natarajan, Mississippi,USA.
Uma Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Friday, September 12, 1997 at 15:41:12 (EST)
Hi,
In Britain especially at London the White people will always disrespect all
non Whites.3 close friends Indian got frustrated because of this racial behaviour
of Whites in London.So they decided to become White.They hunt around the entire
London and found that a machine which costs 50 Pounds per person to turn black
guy to white.Out of three people ,two of them paid 50 Pounds each and became white.
The third guy was short of 5 pounds and asked the other two guys to spare 5 pounds
for him.You Know what the other two friends who turned to white said YOu stupid
Black guy get lost.
Sitaraman Natarajan,Mississippi,USA.
Sitaraman Natarajan
Ridgeland, Missississippi USA - Friday, September 12, 1997 at 15:33:41 (EST)
Hi,
One American,One Indian and One Russian visited Alaska.There is a strange
Pool where if any human being takes a holy dip and thinking of something will
get it by divine power. Russian first opted to have a dip and thinking that he
should become rich in wealth.He became rich.Indian did the same and thinking he
should become Politician and became Bihar Ex. CM.American wanted to have a dip.
unfortunately, He got slipped by a banana Peel and fell down inside the pool and
shouted as Shit. and got the same as per his thinking.
Sita Natarajan, Mississippi,USA.
Sitaraman Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Friday, September 12, 1997 at 15:24:05 (EST)
Scene : 3 Paythiyam
1st Paythiyam Cuts the Head of 2nd Paythiyam...
3 Paythiyam to 1 Paythiyam: Enda Avan thalaya vettine...
1st Paythiyam: sshhh.. avane ezhunthu avan thalaya theduvan paru..
Anand Jayaraman
Union City, CA USA - Wednesday, September 10, 1997 at 15:41:48 (EST)
The scene is S.V.Shekar as Doctor, with a patient.
P: Kaalula aani doctor
SV: Nallatha naalu calender tharen matikko
Ramesh Venkataraman
Randolph, NJ USA - Wednesday, September 10, 1997 at 14:29:31 (EST)
Hi,I am Showing My Index Finger and asking Why Kunnakudi Vaithianathan will not
use this finger when playing Violin.My frien Blinks and says probably he has
some problem with that finger or some thing wrong.But I answered No,you know why
Because It is my Finger.
Sita From Ridgeland USA A Small Kadi.
Sitaraman Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 17:17:50 (EST)
KADI O KADI!
Asoka the Grate emperor Kalinga sanndaiyil Yaen(Why) Pin(pinnadi) Vanginar.
Sandai Podumbodhu Coat Button Arundhuduthu.Athan Pin vanginar.
14th Louie Why Parliment/Paralumandra thhai Koottinar.Because verum Kuppaiyaga
Irunthathu Athan Koottinar.
Alexander Simmasanam Erinathum Enna Seithar.Reply. Koosamal Ukkarnthar.
Bus pinnala thallina ennagum. Pin Valainthu vidum.Ennoda Friend Leave Letter
School teacherkku Ezhdhiyathu as follows:
Anbulla Asiriyarukku Vayatha Vali athanal I grant you leave for two days.
Radhika From Ridgeland Mississippi,USA. (I am 3 1/4 years Old As per my Father and
Mother Solpaddi The above Jokes for You.)
Radhika Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 17:04:05 (EST)
Hi,
One day Tamil teacher to Student Shyam : Oru Palamozhi Sollu Pakkalam.
Shyam : 'Aiyindil Valayadhathu Aiymbathil Valayuma'!
Teacher : Good! paravaillayae Mela Sollu Pakkalam.
Shyam : Aril Valayathathu Arubathil Valayuma!
Ezhil Valayathathu Ezhbathil Vlayuma! and so on....
Uma Natarajan From Mississippi., USA.
UMA NATARAJAN
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 16:26:32 (EST)
Sir C.V. Raman after becoming the Noble Prize winner visited IISc.,B'lore.
He entered into a Chemistry Lab and found a student was doing agressive Research.
He asked the student politely, Boy what is your research. He replied Sir,I am
finding out a Solvent which will dissolve all the substances of the Universe.
If that is the case, Sir CV Raman asked can you tell me WHAT IS THE CONTAINER FOR THAT SOLVENT.
Little Kadi Joke. But High Class Decent Scintific Joke from
Sita Natarajan USA.
Sitaraman Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 16:17:35 (EST)
Gandhi Thattha Thalai Why Vazzukkai Theriyuma? 1946-47 Hindu Muslim Ottrumai
Vendi Thavam kadavulai nokki seithar.Kadum Thavam.Result Kadavul Appeared.Called
Gandhi Enna Varam Vendum Kael.Gandhi by that time migavum kaduppagi,Oru Mayirum
Vendam enru sonnathan vilaivu than Vazuukkai.
Sita Natarajan.MS.USA.
Sitaraman Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 16:06:16 (EST)
Gandhi Thattha Thalai Why Vazzukkai Theriyuma? 1946-47 Hindu Muslim Ottrumai
Vendi Thavam kadavulai nokki seithar.Kadum Thavam.Result Kadavul Appeared.Called
Gandhi Enna Varam Vendum Kael.Gandhi by that time migavum kaduppagi,Oru Mayirum
Vendam enru sonnathan vilaivu than Vazuukkai.
Sitaraman Natarajan
Ridgeland, Mississippi USA - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 16:05:34 (EST)
Paithiyam 1 : Naan indha olagaththiye vaangaporen.
Paithiyam 2 : Mudiyadhu! Naan viththa-thane nee vanga mudiyum.
Karthikeyan S
Bangalore, , Karnataka India. - Tuesday, September 09, 1997 at 10:29:34 (EST)
Ken:Ben what driver can drive.
Ben:A bad driver.
Ken:No a screwdriver.
Raja Ravi,grade3 student
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Monday, September 08, 1997 at 20:41:37 (EST)
Sishyan: Guruve, sithi (moksham) adaiya enna seyya vendum?
Guru: Sishya, mudalle sithappavai kolla vendum.
How will Japanese call the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
Nikkumo Nikkado
How will Chinese call the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
Sanjidchi
Hema Ravi
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Monday, September 08, 1997 at 16:26:26 (EST)
Hotel Server ==> Sir, Yenna Venum
Customer ==> Dosai
Hotel Server ==> Yeppadi kondu varanum sir
Customer ==> Samachu konduvapa
Hotel Server ==> @#@#@#@# (Savu Graki) Adu illa sir sadava,speciala
Vasudevan Narasimhan
South Bend, Indiana USA - Saturday, September 06, 1997 at 18:18:12 (EST)
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